'There was just too much. Too many thoughts. Too many feelings. Never enough space for everything that was bursting inside of me,' writes Ella Thompson. Now, she pours it all into her writing.
It was such an honour to write a guest post, especially on something that is so close to my heart. If you relate to anything in here, please know you always have a place on my Substack! <3
“Every project is a passion project. Every article is from the heart. Every word is crafted with the very focus that my childhood teachers could only wish I had.”
Loved reading this (super speedy—I felt the adhd urgency, matching my own, like water—loved it). So relatable 🩷
"My internal monologues have internal monologues. It’s a neurodivergent Zoom call in there, but everyone has awful wifi and no social cues." Oof. Hard relate.
This is my Substack! I relate so much to AuDHD but have no diagnosis (yet, need to persuade my GP to refer me). My son's autistic but I see ADHD traits in him too, especially the hyperfocus but rarely on the things traditional education wants him to focus on! I masked highly until menopause so am exhausted now!
You’re definitely not alone in this! So many women go through their whole childhood and young adulthood masking, until they can’t go on anymore and end up having to build themselves back up from the ground. This happened with me! <3
I loved this line too. Our parts pull us in 5 directions at once. I like to think this internal Zoom call helps everyone get organized, otherwise it's just yelling and name-calling in there.
This is why when I decide to sit down and discuss with myself about a story I'm writing, I jokingly call it a "meeting". I think the ability, as a writer, to predict and generate imaginary dialog instantly, especially produces this feature. Just picture the character, and the dialog flows. Just as you can imagine five characters on the page having instantaneous dialog you didn't plan at all beforehand, you can do the same with yourself. On the upside, me and the inner writing drill sergeant get along like besties working in the same office cubicle. I am a dry humor sort of gal, and that aspect of me does positively gourmet text roasts, and before I know it, I'm laughing at my own mistakes. I love it.
Love your story. I agree 200% with what you said: “Whatever I do, I no longer think of my AuDHD as a burden. I utilise it and, equally, care for it when things get too much”. So true.
Ooooh, so much of this resonated with me! It's strange to hear from people that their minds are sometimes quiet. What would that even feel like??? I too feel that AuDHD has been instrumental in my writing - the hyperfocus is something I'm so grateful for.
Forever my soul sister on this app and in this life. I am so proud of you for this!
"It means my writing is a museum of every wave I have managed to ride without drowning, every current that has taken me under. Every moment that my head has come up for air."
Beautiful and true. Your writing is like the calm in the churning sea. Thank you for being here!
We are all meant to work in different ways and it's so beautiful when we can celebrate the strengths of the ways that work for us, regardless of how they look to some outside world.
I loved this! Also, please look after your bladder!
I've definitely found it helpful to schedule a post before I've even written it so I know I have a deadline! And it does push me to get it done. I've also (surprisingly) never had to worry about whether I can come up with ideas, it's really just a matter of whether I can say enough about it to knock out 1,000 words.
That's why I don't have a niche. If I limited myself to only talking about certain things I wouldn't enjoy it anywhere near as much.
I promise I have regular bathroom breaks!!! Yeah, you don’t need to worry about having a niche (surely your niche is whoever you are and whatever you write about)
I'm glad you're looking after yourself! Look at me playing big brother 🤣 and yeah, I've thankfully never worried about it. I just want to be me, in the same way I want you to be you 😊
I love the way you describe the ideas that flow through your head and scramble to write them down. Sometimes I don't have a pen and I have 3 ideas in my head, then a 4th will come, and one of the ideas is gone forever. I used to mourn these losses, but I've learned to make peace with letting them go and appreciate the ideas that make it to the notebook.
I admire the way you have found strength in the ways that you are different. It's easy for different to feel less-than. In truth, our differences are our strengths. Thank you for sharing this insightful post!
It was such an honour to write a guest post, especially on something that is so close to my heart. If you relate to anything in here, please know you always have a place on my Substack! <3
“Every project is a passion project. Every article is from the heart. Every word is crafted with the very focus that my childhood teachers could only wish I had.”
Loved reading this (super speedy—I felt the adhd urgency, matching my own, like water—loved it). So relatable 🩷
Thank you so much Mara! So glad you related <3
Wow. A lot of this resonated with me.
I’m so glad it made you feel seen! <3
"My internal monologues have internal monologues. It’s a neurodivergent Zoom call in there, but everyone has awful wifi and no social cues." Oof. Hard relate.
Glad it’s not just me! Thank you for your comment <3
I've just realised I commented from my personal email not my substack! I'll login and comment from my usual account. Sorry got excited!
Aw I love this so much, i’m so excited too I’m vibrating haha
This is my Substack! I relate so much to AuDHD but have no diagnosis (yet, need to persuade my GP to refer me). My son's autistic but I see ADHD traits in him too, especially the hyperfocus but rarely on the things traditional education wants him to focus on! I masked highly until menopause so am exhausted now!
You’re definitely not alone in this! So many women go through their whole childhood and young adulthood masking, until they can’t go on anymore and end up having to build themselves back up from the ground. This happened with me! <3
I loved this line too. Our parts pull us in 5 directions at once. I like to think this internal Zoom call helps everyone get organized, otherwise it's just yelling and name-calling in there.
This is why when I decide to sit down and discuss with myself about a story I'm writing, I jokingly call it a "meeting". I think the ability, as a writer, to predict and generate imaginary dialog instantly, especially produces this feature. Just picture the character, and the dialog flows. Just as you can imagine five characters on the page having instantaneous dialog you didn't plan at all beforehand, you can do the same with yourself. On the upside, me and the inner writing drill sergeant get along like besties working in the same office cubicle. I am a dry humor sort of gal, and that aspect of me does positively gourmet text roasts, and before I know it, I'm laughing at my own mistakes. I love it.
Love your story. I agree 200% with what you said: “Whatever I do, I no longer think of my AuDHD as a burden. I utilise it and, equally, care for it when things get too much”. So true.
Thank you so much for your comment! So glad it resonated
I can relate to so much of this, especially the internal monologue, are there really people that don’t have one??
apparently so! i don’t know how people do it… it must be so…. quiet???
Sometimes I have a right old giggle with my inner voice! I don’t know how I’d function without it!!
Wow this is incredible Ella! You are helping so many people, you don’t even realise!
Thank you so much for your lovely comment Lottie! This is all I can hope for! <3
Ooooh, so much of this resonated with me! It's strange to hear from people that their minds are sometimes quiet. What would that even feel like??? I too feel that AuDHD has been instrumental in my writing - the hyperfocus is something I'm so grateful for.
Forever my soul sister on this app and in this life. I am so proud of you for this!
"It means my writing is a museum of every wave I have managed to ride without drowning, every current that has taken me under. Every moment that my head has come up for air."
Beautiful and true. Your writing is like the calm in the churning sea. Thank you for being here!
This comment (and you) have my heart. Forever grateful I have met such a beautiful talented kind woman <3
as always, the gratitude is mutual
We are all meant to work in different ways and it's so beautiful when we can celebrate the strengths of the ways that work for us, regardless of how they look to some outside world.
Yes absolutely!! Thank you for your comment <3
I loved this! Also, please look after your bladder!
I've definitely found it helpful to schedule a post before I've even written it so I know I have a deadline! And it does push me to get it done. I've also (surprisingly) never had to worry about whether I can come up with ideas, it's really just a matter of whether I can say enough about it to knock out 1,000 words.
That's why I don't have a niche. If I limited myself to only talking about certain things I wouldn't enjoy it anywhere near as much.
I promise I have regular bathroom breaks!!! Yeah, you don’t need to worry about having a niche (surely your niche is whoever you are and whatever you write about)
I'm glad you're looking after yourself! Look at me playing big brother 🤣 and yeah, I've thankfully never worried about it. I just want to be me, in the same way I want you to be you 😊
I love the way you describe the ideas that flow through your head and scramble to write them down. Sometimes I don't have a pen and I have 3 ideas in my head, then a 4th will come, and one of the ideas is gone forever. I used to mourn these losses, but I've learned to make peace with letting them go and appreciate the ideas that make it to the notebook.
I admire the way you have found strength in the ways that you are different. It's easy for different to feel less-than. In truth, our differences are our strengths. Thank you for sharing this insightful post!
Thank you for such a beautiful and kind comment! I’m so glad you are learning to make peace with certain elements! <3
“I can’t imagine a time when I will run out of article ideas. Everything is material if you’re AuDHD enough.”
I feel this way too! I write about art and creativity and I have a running list of so many ideas to write about. I can’t keep up with it.
Ahhh so glad you get it! My notes app is FULL to the brim of ideas!!
go Ella!!! such a great piece 🤍
Appreciate you more than I can say!
This is such a beautiful piece, full of heart. Thank you, Ella.
I identify with this so much. Not diagnosed but have suspected for a while I may have the same diagnosis ❤️